All About Who You Know

by Old Man Crunchy

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With every song, there's a story. With every story, there's a drink. A year and a half of telling stories which brought this album to light. 13 songs all about who I know and the people you can relate to.


released November 20, 2015

Thanks Tony for the inspiration that barely anyone is open enough to see. Thank you Nik for recording these songs... and liking them. Thanks to Ben for having to listen to these songs a thousand times and being a chill ass roommate. Thanks everyone else for helping make stories... or pissing me off, you'll know who you are.



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Old Man Crunchy Denver, Colorado

Old Man Crunchy, isn’t your standard folk singer, but he is from Colorado. His tattoo’s, facial jewelry, and lazy apparel has a way of speaking to a crowd, but that is just the cover of the book. Old Man Crunchy isn't your “guy playing Wonderwall under a tree”. On record or live, his entire performance has been shaped by the grandfathers of American music... or something. ... more

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Track Name: Compass In The Sky
It's a quiet, lonely, road
Goin where nobody goes
There's a compass in the sky
There's a compass in the sky
With fences crossing green
I cannot help, but sing
from shores to mountains high
There's a compass in the sky

Whether dead or alive
What's your story?
Have you killed a man before?
Have you broken any hearts?
Have you seen a rising sun
or walked the sands down at the shore,
where you see the bluest seas
and the moon, so clearly?
Well I've spoken to sheep
and sang to the streets
I drank the town's home brew

I would rather die in life, with a story
To say what I've done before
Maybe, do a little more
Well, my thumb points at the road
Whether rain, or shine, or snow
I will sing, to you, my life
That's the only thing I know
Well I've spoken to sheep
and sang to the streets
I drank the town's home brew

I've traveled around the world
and the Earth, it humbles me
Track Name: Ton Deaf
he walks a mile and leaves a path
there's footsteps right behind
a thousand types of different shoes
only one set keeps the line
still, he thumbs away to different states
the bugs all land on him
there's humming birds comin' out his teeth
and turkey in the backseat drinking

whiskey in the morning
and whiskey at night
the spirit's in between his lips
and cat turds in his pipe

the mountain man from my homeland
telling stories of the sand
he sings his songs about the road
while the herds behind the fence
still, he thumbs away to different states
the bugs all land on him
there's humming birds comin' out his teeth
and turkey in the backseat drinking
Track Name: I'm Feelin' Just Fine
i'm trying to forget you
i'm trying to forget
all the times you said i'm yours
then you up and fuckin' left
i spent a month not saying much
you're assuming i am dead
well, i'm alive and i'm saying, "hi"
then you kicked me out your life

so long, goodbye
i'm feeling just fine
farewells are easy, like, watching all the tears
rolling down your eyes

nothing's wrong with less of you
nothing's wrong at all
a gallon of beer and fucked up hair
my day is going well and fair
i get your letter now and then
you're wondering how i am
so i'll take that page and wipe my ass
cuz i know this is how it'll end
Track Name: What Happened
four wheels and a plank of wood
no cars, not old enough
fucking, skate down to the park that was
three miles, with a pocket full of change
bought teas right down the street
burning holes from socks to feet
running right past the elementary
stetson hills was fucking sweet
but this was

one fucked up memory
that always rolls past me
it's stabbing holes in my head
like what happened to my best friend

a few years, we've met some friends
a bunch had fallen into trends
then, he started walking past me in the halls
his pupils never small
sugar canes up in his nose and
coked out philosophies
his thoughts are all dark and empty
as crystals filled like

one fucked up memory
that always rolls past me
its stabbing holes in my head
like what happened to my best friend

Track Name: Pisces 'R Us
there's this one girl in my town that i've known for a while
she's short, skinny, with black hair and had the prettiest smile
that i've ever seen
well, she takes vitamins because she doesn't ever eat
well... not any meat. she's what you call a branch of vegetarian
it's the dumbest thing i've heard
it's a piscitarian
and the food she eats, it's not a long list
but she limits herself to veggies, fruits and fish

well, i like food for what it is
if i could put it in a fire, or eat it fresh
and sometimes knowing what people eat
is the reason why i smoke cigarettes

i asked her why she chose this route, she said
"people harming animals should not be allowed"
she's seen those commercials where people do violent things
and i told her, "thats the bullshit that PETA stream"
i said, "i dont know why you believe in that,
but you're currently suffering from an excessive lack of fat"
and that happens to both, models and kids
where you can pick up sticks and play drums on their ribs

i told her, "i don't think you've ever fished"
i said, "do you know how ironic this is?"
you throw a hook, and you bait the thing
and when it eats it, it pierces right behind its teeth
then you take a knife and insert it in its ass
and slice upwards, roughly, up to its neck
then you pull out its intestines
simultaneously, its soul goes to heaven
Track Name: Vegas Baby
i lost my money playing cards
and this turkeys hitting me pretty hard
so i go outside to try to make money again
i need ten bucks for the minimum buy in
people only tip if you smell like ass
so why the hell am i wearing axe
so i got out the banjo and started busking anyway
i didnt make a dime

so i went to starbucks and i played real hard
i only got titty bar titty cards
what the hell can i get with that
then comes some guy whos trying to sell me a little bit of hash
he made an offer for some money
i said what do you think im trying to do here buddy
so he got pissed and he got mad
then he reached into my case and stole my stripper cash
now im broke again

so we walked on down through the strip
i asked some chicks to see their tits
they said no way but i think im pretty tough
then some guys came up who were more buff then us
and that got weird and we walked away
then those girls went up and gave them the change
so i got mad and i got sad
now im broke, ugly and smell like ass

so our friend had to piss real bad
then outside the restrooms is where we sat
some irish guy asked for some songs
so i played drunken lullabies and rattlin bog
there was like 30 people who loved that shit
then that night i made about 35 cents
turns out our friend never came out
we were in the wrong bathroom
Track Name: Blues On Route 44
well, it's summer time
and we go out the door
it's about 2am
we need route 44s
and were drunk as hell
we got a little change
and i gotta say, good thing its a mile away

well, my buddy and i, we both gotta piss
but thats too damn bad, cuz
we're on the go
so, we pull it out
and were pissin' while a-walkin'
then we bump it up a notch, and now
were running
and i think that us, both josh and me
we could have made a page in history
where a night that started with a little thirst
we were the ones who were running, pissin' backwards, first

so, we stopped somewhere
in the middle of the street
to see if theres change for him and me
then he dropped his money right on the road
next thing, you know, we're using lights on the phone
never did i think i'd see the day of
two kids on a highway, picking up change
but we picked up a couple bucks
and we started making our way

come to find out, it ended bad
sonic was closed and were both really sad
the only thing open was the store next door
so we bought a couple teas because that's all we could afford
Track Name: Put 'Em Up
lowered lights, an eager night
the solo man begins
start the little tune he goes
hit the floor now with your toes
he sung a line to the drunken guy
who'd risen up his head
started dancing on the floor
then dancing even more, singing

drink a ton and have some fun
drink up every sip
put em up and slam em down
and never give a shit

the longer time he drinks away
the more he comes alive
hugging arms he kicks the sky
he kicks it one more time
he slaps along the table top
and dances once again
then everybody in the bar
joins the song in arms, singing

drink a ton and have some fun
drink up every sip
put em up and slam em down
and never give a shit

the drunken man comes to an end
and follows, does the show
he'll come again and he'll come again
till every fucker knows
Track Name: Waitin' On The Wicked
what a beautiful day to be at work
said, no one ever
i got a beer in each of my hands
i got so many plans
gotta pee on the wall, ya' know?
but my pants fell down
don't ever tell me what i can or can't do
go to sleep on the daily
waking up with a headache
my fingers ain't doin' good
they're not movin' like they should
i think i lost that feelin'
but i kept on dreamin'

ain't waitin' on the wicked
to tell me i'm a crazy man
i already knew
i waited a long while
to get where i'm at
i got nothin' to do

i'm drinking too much
i've got regretful lust
when i'm shooting my mouth
i'm the biggest dick that you've seen
i can get you to do anything i want you to do

don't care about friends
don't give a goddamn if you like me or not
i got a man to punch me in the teeth
and i screamed at kayleen
i hate every big city
but i can tell you right now

i got stains in my teeth
from cigarettes and coffee
and my voice is out of tune
i don't make a dime
from playing all the time
i'm not trying to hit on babes
while the singers on the stage
Track Name: Sunday Blues
i wait outside of church every sunday
begging for some change for some water
but everybody walks on by
knowing that the father needs your money, too
well, everyone's dressed well
to impress the man in the clouds
who's done nothing, for me anyway
so i walked on in, lighting a cigarette

sunday blues
too good for you
sunday blues
and jesus, too

the smoke comes blaring out my nose
i take the cup with the water that they pray
i don't care where your hands have been
i'm just goddamn thirsty
i haven't eaten in so damn long
your body is a sugar cookie, i feel strong
look at all of them pray
i'm drinking from the holy grail, getting tipsy

when they open their hands to pray
im giving out low 5s there all day
and when the basket comes around
im thinking i got a grant from bank of america
as a man ex-catholic i just think
what would jesus do
if god has a plan for me and you
then every sunday, i'll be coming through
Track Name: I'm Just A Guy
im having some problems, disgruntled
an old man who drinks guinness
talk shit about everything
i come off so blunt, but im speaking my thoughts
i hate all those damn bitches who constantly say
oh my god

but what do i know when youre all better than me
well im just a drunk who talks shit about everything

a passionate hate to all of mankind
im tired of calling back memories that started from
caleb and joshua
the chelsies and cameron
look at the thing youve made
you brought out the worst in me

but what do i know when youre all better than me
well im just a drunk who talks shit about everything
yeah im just a guy who sees bad in all of the world
Track Name: 50-Proof Tears
with bloody eyes; the morn
moonlight up and out again
light a pathway to the grail
serving pints down at the end
hear the stomping on the ground
hear the stomping on the ground
raise our glasses to a cheers
this is where my life begins

natives all surround me
were singing all the same
ill raise my bloody drink
with 50-proof tears

its rigid past o'neils, o'donogues i saw the band
a pint or two at the guinness house
and stole their honored glass
the ladies made the irish way
they nicely turned me down
but never left, they stayed around
and i knew that this was home
Track Name: With Anchors
feeling helplessness is everlasting pain
pierce needles in my eye, i hope to feel something
where is my conscience
where is my angel
like children it left me
im fevered by a lonliness
thats nothing like before
nothing so silent

oh watery cemetery
drowning the weight with anchors
sing to me lullabies
or send me away with anchors

choices oblivious, nothing is real
a captive to honor and barter the deal
a tender-full life is a terrible lie
if you go as the sea turns into tides
that listens to dirt that made up of gold

oh watery cemetery
drowning the weight with anchors
sing to me lullabies
or send me away with anchors

(anchors away)
the drowning of hymns